


a little less unfortunate

by csi_sanders1129



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: AU, Ficuary, Found Family, Lousy Lane, M/M, Routine, challenge, competent adults, vfd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29233827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/csi_sanders1129/pseuds/csi_sanders1129
Summary: In which the lives of several orphans might be just a little less unfortunate.
Relationships: Dewey Denouement/Kit Snicket, Dr. Montgomery Montgomery/Gustav Sebald, Olivia Caliban/Jacques Snicket
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11
Collections: Ficuary





	a little less unfortunate

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Ficuary 2021, Prompt: Routine. AU starting with Reptile Room. Comments and kudos would be awesome. Enjoy!

They have a routine.

The Baudelaire children sleep safely and soundly in their rooms – each one personalized to their particular interests – until their guardian, Dr. Montgomery Montgomery, knocks politely on each of their bedroom doors in the morning to signal that breakfast is ready and it's time to get out of bed. The three siblings will venture downstairs a few moments later, usually still clad in pajamas, and join their Uncle Monty and his assistant Gustav at the table. They'll chat excitedly about the books they've read or the things they've invented or the foods they've learned to cook.

Of course they will also talk about the reptiles. Chances are at least one joins them at the table. Sometimes it's the Incredibly Deadly Viper cuddled around Sunny. Sometimes it's the Screeching Iguana wandering about beneath the table hoping for scraps or the Winged Lizard perched on Gustav's shoulder.

When breakfast is through, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny will retreat back to their rooms to get dressed. Violet and Klaus will leave Lousy Lane to go to school, if it is in session, or else they will help out with the animals however they please.

They have a routine and it is a happy one.

There is no sign of Count Olaf or his evil compatriots or his nefarious plans. Still, the children worry that one day he will show up and ruin the comfortable patterns they've settled into here. They are repeatedly assured that this will not happened by Dr. Montgomery, Gustav, and several other members of a mysterious organization called VFD that they've met in the months after they thwart Count Olaf's original plan. Gustav introduces them to Jacqueline Scieszka, formerly known as Mr. Poe's odd secretary, who frequently stops by to check in with them. They newly recruited Justice Strauss, who is very happy they're content with their new guardian, visits frequently too. They attend a Very Fancy Dinner with Uncle Monty that allows them to meet Larry Your Waiter, Jacques Snicket, Kit Snicket, and Josephine Anwhistle, all of whom share stories of their parents and swear to protect them from those who'd fallen on the other side of VFD's volatile schism.

Occasionally, they break from routine – they take a month long trip to Peru to search for new snakes, they travel for the herpetological convention where Uncle Monty unveils the Incredibly Deadly Viper to a needlessly terrified audience, they go on a road trip to rescue a pair of triplets from a terrible preparatory school that have been orphaned under suspiciously similar circumstances, also the children of VFD members. Isadora and Duncan Quagmire join them on Lousy Lane, and while they mourn their brother and their parents, they also thrive under Uncle Monty's care. Having run into Count Olaf at Prufrock Prep, they, too, fear that he will reappear.

VFD circles the wagons – a phrase here which does not involve any actual wagons but does involve a group of people collectively uniting for a common interest. That interest here being the protection of the Baudelaire's and the Quagmire's from the reprehensible scheming of one Count Olaf – around the five of them. Uncle Monty tells them that Count Olaf has, indeed, resurfaced with his loyal crew and also with Esmé Squalor, the city's sixth most important financial advisor.

But, VFD has gained new members, too. Olivia Caliban, the very kind librarian who'd helped the Quagmire's escape Count Olaf at Prufrock eagerly joins up with Jacques Snicket in researching a lead on a potential survivor of Count Olaf's arson spree. Jerome Squalor, Esmé's timid ex-husband, also reunites with his old VFD friends to help out where he can.

And then, another break from routine. Gustav leaves them to join Jacques and Olivia in search of the survivor. His absence is startling to all of them, even Monty, who seems on edge with him away. Even though he updates them regularly – they track his progress through the Hinterlands, through the Village of Fowl Devotees and Heimlich Hospital and then through Caligari Carnival and Mount Fraught – they're all worried.

Uncle Monty wakes them in the middle of the night, a frantic pounding on their bedroom doors. The five of them gather in the hallway, all traces of sleep gone with the alarming wake-up call – all with the knowledge that nothing good ever comes at such an hour. Klaus pries the Very Factual Dispatch out of his shaky hands when he proves incapable of explaining what's wrong and reads out the message – Gustav's been seriously injured in a face off against Count Olaf and the others, mostly thanks to the arrival of the infamous duo of the Man with a Beard but No Hair and the Woman with Hair but No Beard who tend to be a little more effective at their wicked plans than Count Olaf's haphazard schemes. Jacques' message assures them that Gustav is being cared for by Very Fine Doctors and that they should stay put for their own safety.

They all know it's killing Monty not to go to him. Sunny ventures to the kitchen to make hot cocoa for everybody while the elder Baudelaire's and the two Quagmire triplets herd Monty down to the reptile room. They'll wait for news there, together.

By morning, there is another message, but it does not mention Gustav. Quigley Quagmire is alive. Olivia reports that he's in a VFD submarine, the _Queequeg_ , captained by one Fiona Widdershins, and that it is being pursued by Olaf and company.

Now Duncan and Isadora are doubly troubled – worried about their not-so-dead brother and about Gustav's health. But they cannot go, either.

The day passes slowly, so very impossibly slowly. No one mentions school. No one mentions research. They all just stay by the receiver, waiting for word to come. If anyone sleeps, it's not for long. They're all leaned against each other, huddled close. The Incredibly Deadly Viper slinks among them. Gustav's Winged Lizard friend mopes and settles for Duncan's shoulder instead.

That afternoon, word comes that most of Olaf's troop has abandoned him atop Mount Fraught. The White-Faced Women, the Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender, the Bald Man – all done. Only the Hook-Handed Man and Esmé Squalor remain. But, when the _Queequeg_ is finally located the next morning, beached upon Briny Beach where the Baudelaire's story began, they learn that Kit has recovered Quigley and Fiona. She also discovers that even the Hook-Handed Man, who had seemed so desperately, unfailingly loyal, has a breaking point and his apparently involved Count Olaf's threats against Fiona, his estranged sister. Count Olaf and Esmé, however, are in the wind.

The Hook-Handed Man, Fernald, tells them where to go. The Hotel Denouement. He warns them what they're up against. Esmé is after the sugar bowl. Olaf is after revenge. They have a specimen of the deadly fungus Medusoid Mycelium.

The majority of the VFD descends upon the Hotel Denouement for what they all hope is the confrontation that finally ends Count Olaf's crime spree, ends the chaos.

Monty and his anxious charges are not in attendance for this perilous confrontation. They wait at the house on Lousy Lane for Josephine to deliver Quigley and a reasonably stable Gustav to them (also to retrieve copious amounts of horseradish should Count Olaf's plan prove successful). They're all eagerly waiting by the front door as the car slowly pulls up (Josephine is a notoriously cautious driver).

Quigley bolts form the car before it is fully stopped (despite Josephine's frantic calls about the inherent danger of doing so) and tackles his siblings with a desperate hug, the three of them happily reunited.

When the car is fully stopped, it is evident very little is keeping Monty from doing exactly the same thing. Instead, he approaches at a normal pace, cautiously helps Gustav out of the car and pulls the man into an equally cautious embrace and then a slightly less cautious kiss. Gustav half-heartedly jokes that he would have gotten himself thrown off Mount Fraught much sooner, if he'd known that's what it would take for Monty to finally get a clue. Monty does not appreciate the reminder and soundly kisses him again.

That resolved, they all help Gustav inside, settled somewhere safe and comfortable and home. Monty and the children all stay close while he and Quigley offer up a detailed run down of what they'd all missed.

But, in the middle of this tale, another message comes.

It's over.

Count Olaf and Esmé Squalor have been captured. The Man with a Beard but No Hair and the Woman with Hair but No Beard, as well. The Medusoid Mycelium is contained. The sugar bowl is secure. Everyone is safe.

It's over.

It's _finally_ over.

* * *

They have a routine.

The Baudelaire children and the Quagmire children sleep safely and soundly in their rooms – each one personalized to their particular interests – until their guardian, Dr. Montgomery Montgomery, knocks politely on each of their bedroom doors in the morning to signal that breakfast is ready and it's time to get out of bed. They will venture downstairs a few moments later, usually still clad in pajamas, and join their Uncle Monty and their Uncle Gustav at the table. They'll chat excitedly about the books they've read or the things they've invented or the foods they've learned to cook, the codes they've broken, the poems they've read, and the articles they've written.

Of course they will also talk about the reptiles. Chances are at least one joins them at the table. Sometimes it's the Incredibly Deadly Viper cuddled around Sunny. Sometimes it's the Screeching Iguana wandering about beneath the table hoping for scraps or the Winged Lizard perched on Gustav's shoulder.

When breakfast is through, Violet, Klaus, Sunny, Duncan, Isadora, and Quigley will retreat back to their rooms to get dressed. They will leave Lousy Lane to go to school, if it is in session, or else they will help out with the animals however they please.

They will go to VFD meetings. They will help rebuild VFD headquarters in the Valley of Four Drafts. They will, eventually, help Gustav propose to Monty (with the assistance of a newly discovered species of lizard notable for the heart-shaped spots on its back). They will attend Jacques and Olivia's wedding. They will occasionally volunteer to babysit for Kit and the mysterious Dewey Denouement's little girl, Beatrice. They will befriend Fiona and eventually they will forgive her brother, Fernald, for his involvement with Count Olaf. They will meet a third Snicket sibling, the presumed dead Lemony Snicket, who will tell them a terrible and tragic tale. They will convince him to tell the truth about what really caused the schism, a move which will give Kit and Jacques their long lost brother back because they all know how it feels to think you've lost someone.

They will move on.

They will be happy.

And their lives will be a little less unfortunate than they could have otherwise been.


End file.
